Bye bye pa-pa

For as long as I can remember, this pa-pa has been hanging off of my baby girl's clothes. Tonight, Cal told Lucy that big girls that go peepee on the potty do not need pa-pas anymore! I gestured for him to be quiet because I thought that would make her no longer want to go to the potty. Much to my surprise, she looked at us and said, "take this pa-pa off of me!" She wanted to send it to a new baby. So, we put it in an envelope and took it to the mailbox. We were able to face time with some good friends of ours that have a new baby on the way. She told them that she sent her pa-pa to the new baby. They had a one year old that was on the screen, so Lucy believes that she sent her pa-pa him. We are actually going to mail it and let her see him holding it on face time. I am so proud of my baby girl's generous heart. This reminds me of things that happen when you don't know it's going to be the last time. I don't know the last time I nursed Jack, Lucy or Reid, and I am not sure the last time I saw the pa-pa in Lucy's mouth. This is just one more of those times that remind me to just savor each and every moment.

Family in Lexington

When we moved here we thought, yay, family is in town. Little did we know that when you are in town with family, you truly rarely see each other. It really was nice to know that they were down the road, though. They have been busy raising two teenagers, while I have been busy welcoming three little babies. We have all been in a busy stage of our lives, but, it sure was nice to see everyone the other day. Macy and Jake sure have grown since they held the twins for the first time. A sweet and comparison of them holding Jack and Lucy as newborns compared to them holding Reid as a newborn. We sure will miss knowing that they are right down the street.

Beauty

Thank God for this beautiful day, it has been a long time coming. We have been outside all day! Collecting treasure, cuddling on the swing, sliding, playing baseball, etc etc! I've been getting tons of Reid snuggles too while we sit in the sun! FINALLY!!! I think our cold Lexington days have finally came to an end! We will never see another winter here! I have mixed emotions about this move. I'll save that post for another day. We only have 3 weeks left in this little house.. The house where all 3 of my babies came home! Bittersweet

A mixture and funnies...

Reid is quite the obvious mixture of both of the Laney twins. I can't even put my finger on what makes him a mixture of the both, But he sure is!
Own a different note, Jack and Lucy are both in a terrible twos stage. Lucy has a bad habit of running the other way when I call her name. I tried to reason with her the other day and told her that I am only calling her for her own safety. I asked her what would she do if a dog was coming and I called her? She is terrified of dogs. She answered with, "If I see a dog, I will come!" My reply was, "what if you do not see the dog Lucy? When I call you I am just trying to keep you safe." She said, "If I see a dog, I will come, mommy!" Oh dear, I think I have my handful with this one. She always has a clever comeback. I think she has already outsmarted me. They are always saying the funniest things! i have got to record all of the things better.they keep me in stitches all of the time. They are my little sidekicks.I always take them with me everywhere. Today, we went to the grocery store and the post office. I was so amazed that they stood with me in line at the post office and did not make a peep. they are the sweetest children I know! Even though, Jack got called a girl, again…

Little centimeters...

Tonight, I moved Reid's monitor camera a little further away from him. I moved it because he grabbed it for the first time last night...busy little hands. To some, that may be no big deal, but to me, bc I have been here and done this, that was just one of my first moves away from him. It is all downhill from here, or should I say up hill. I will only get farther away now, he will only grow bigger, and he will only be more and more independent. Each little move that was so easy the first time seems like a huge milestone with this little guy. Maybe it is because I know….I know what it means when the monitor moves farther away. I know what it means when I stop looking at the monitor every five seconds....it means that he is growing up a little bit more every day. It just means that space is going to get larger and larger with time, and that one little move of the monitor that I made tonight was the first one. The first move as I gradually move away centimeter by centimeter and watch him grow his wings. I guess this time I am just savoring each little moment, and when each tiny transition is made, I take a deep breath and know that I just moved one more centimeter away.

Back to life

I am coming back to life in more ways than one these days. I have finally gotten a new iPhone and can make blog post more easily. I was reading back over my blog and I really realized that this is something I would like to keep up with for my family. The last blog post I did was on Reid's birth. He is now almost 4 months old. He is just a bundle of joy. Jack and Lucy are pretty much potty training themselves. This is not something I wanted to do yet. I wanted to wait until this summer. God has a better plan for that, though. It will be nice to only change one diaper. Ha ha Jack and Lucy are 29 months old. A few pictures to catch up.

Introducing.... REID JOHNSTEN LANEY

On the night of December 8, 2012... I started having a ton of contractions, but for me, that is truly nothing new. I didn't think anything of it, and because it was a Saturday night, I went ahead and took a terbutaline pill to help stop the contractions... but they didn't stop. I took a sleeping pill and started to doze off when I felt a pop and a gush.... I realized that my water had broken and I calmly woke Cal up and went down the hall to tell my mom. We got to the hospital at around 11:30 and because Reid was still in the breech position, he was here by 1:38 on December 9, 2012 via C-section.

 He is perfect and handsome...

 weighed 8 lbs and 11.7 oz

 and 20 3/4 inches long.

 His brother and sister are obsessed with him....

 mainly sister.... who thinks he is her baby doll.

Jack gets kisses on and off all day!

...And I do believe this is my favorite photo of all time! :)

38 weeks

38 weeks pregnant with Reid

37 weeks and 4 days pregnant with Jack and Lucy (delivered the next day)

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 38 weeks

Size of baby: 19 inches from head to heel — and weighs around 6 lbs- size of a cantaloupe

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I have gained 30 lbs

Maternity Clothes: mostly all maternity... some regular dresses

Gender: It's a BOY!!!

Name: Reid Johnsten Laney
Reid is my maiden name and Johnsten is a nod to Cal's late grandfather John Hozie Turner and his late Uncle Johnny. Also... Johnsten means "God's gracious gift" and I could not say it any better! :)

Movement: I feel him moving all of the time! There are no longer flips, I can feel him pushing and turning and I can almost discern what body part I am feeling. We have been trying and trying to get him to flip out of the breech position. I have laid upside down on ironing boards and stood on my head, but the boy will not move! I really think he is too big at this point!

Sleep: Sleep is still better with sleeping aids :)

What I miss: um... still miss WINE!!! (and being able to pop up off of the couch and bed easily)

Cravings: I have been ravenously hungry lately. I think I have eaten more Mexican and every kind of dip in the world during this pregnancy.

Symptoms: still have tons of braxton hicks... they are really starting to get uncomfortable... but there is no pattern to them and they aren't changing anything, so I am not worried with them!

Best Moment this month: I am just so grateful to have made it a few days longer than I did with the twins. I had them at 37 weeks and 5 days. They were full term and healthy, but I know that the longer he stays in there the better! :)

34 weeks!

This pregnancy is seriously 

34 weeks with Reid

34 weeks with the twins

 flying by! It seemed that the pregnancy with the twins drug on for ages and ages. I am sure it was bc I was immobile and stuck in a hospital room day in and day out... and I am super active this time with TWO 2 yr old toddlers! ha! The twins are really keeping me busy these days, from stomach bugs to the croup to viral colds... they have been a barrel of fun (not so much) ha! They are well now... praise God! I am almost 36 weeks now as I am finally posting this update. They and I have been sick for 2 weeks straight... it has been a ROUGH couple of weeks! I am getting ready for the end of the pregnancy now! ha! Although... I do know that this will be the easiest it will ever be to have 3 kids... one still safe and sound on the inside! LOL!
I had to run in to the emergency room the week I turned 34 weeks.... I had the stomach flu and had to get fluids because dehydration was causing hard, steady contractions. The IV fluids helped calm things down and we came on home. Cal had it too... while we were in the ER... no FUN! Bless his heart, he got up the next morning and fed the twins breakfast, etc... he is such a trooper.

Pregnancy Highlights:

 

How Far Along: 34 weeks

 

Size of baby:  18 inches from head to heel —  and weighs around 5 lbs- size of a cantaloupe

 

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I have gained 25lbs

 

Maternity Clothes: mostly all maternity... some regular dresses

 

Gender: It's a BOY!!!

Name: Reid Johnsten Laney
Reid is my maiden name and Johnsten is a nod to Cal's late grandfather John Hozie Turner and his late Uncle Johnny. Also... Johnsten means "God's gracious gift" and I could not say it any better! :)

 

Movement: I feel him moving all of the time! There are no longer flips, I can feel him pushing and turning and I can almost discern what body part I am feeling.

 

Sleep: Sleep is still better with sleeping aids :)

 

What I miss: um... still miss WINE!!! (and being able to pop up off of the couch and bed easily)

 

Cravings: I have been ravenously hungry lately. I have been craving a cupcake...but for some reason, I haven't gotten one. ha

 

Symptoms: still have tons of braxton hicks... they are really starting to get uncomfortable... but there is no pattern to them and they aren't changing anything, so I am not worried with them!  

 

Best Moment this month: the best moment was turning 34 weeks and knowing that I made it without a hospital stay! I was sent home from the hospital around this time when I was pregnant with the twins. Just knowing that he could come any day now and be perfectly fine is a HUGE comfort. I have been so worried this time because of the contractions and all of our fears last time. This pregnancy has been a complete blessing! Praise GOD! :)



32 weeks



30 weeks with twins

30 weeks with Reid



32 weeks with Twins

32 weeks with Reid



So... I am seeing by comparing 30 weeks to 32 weeks that A LOT happened this week. Reid must have taken a HUGE growth spurt! ha! It has been a good month other than having a ton of braxton hicks AGAIN! ugh! Although... when pregnant with the twins, the contractions never stopped... they do stop now! I will sometimes have them 5 minutes apart, and it scares the mess out of me... but they stop, so that is a good thing! I went in and got all checked out and now have the reassurance that the contractions are not changing my cervix at all and Reid is all safe and cozy in there growing! I would just love to make it to 38 weeks again or beyond! God has His hand on this pregnancy and I am resting in Him!

Pregnancy Highlights:

 

How Far Along: 32 weeks

 

Size of baby:  16.7 inches from head to heel — the length of a large jicama and weighed 4 lbs and 6 oz at our last doctors visit

 

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I have gained 25lbs

 

Maternity Clothes: mostly all maternity... some regular dresses

 

Gender: It's a BOY!!!

Name: Reid Johnsten Laney
Reid is my maiden name and Johnsten is a nod to Cal's late grandfather John Hozie Turner and his late Uncle Johnny. Also... Johnsten means "God's gracious gift" and I could not say it any better! :)

 

Movement: I feel him moving all of the time! There are no longer flips, I can feel him pushing and turning and I can almost discern what body part I am feeling.

 

Sleep: Sleep is still better with sleeping aids :)

What I miss: um... still  miss WINE!!! (and being able to pop up off of the couch and bed easily)

 

Cravings: no cravings really at this point. I have been a little extra hungry between meals, but no craving.

 

Symptoms: still a few braxton hicks here and there, and sciatic nerve pain comes and goes. I have found it really helpful to soak in an epson salt bath every night. It really helps with the muscle pain. I have had to start taking some meds to calm down the contractions, but no dialation or change... so no bedrest 

 

Best Moment this month: I was so grateful this month to have the ability to throw my sweet babies a birthday party. I would have never been able to do something like that previously pregnant with the twins. It is nice to not be so limited this time around.

28 weeks



28 weeks with Reid



28 weeks (in a hospital room) with the twins

So.... WOW is about all I can say when looking at this comparison pic. No wonder I was already in the hospital in pre-term labor! wow! I am actually closer to 30 weeks at right now while typing this... I still feel good and I am still chasing the twins! LOL... that part is NOT fun... but it is SO much better than sitting on an IV drip of magnesium...ha!
I have started having some braxton hicks, and of course, when I do it terrifies the daylights out of me. I know that it is SO normal to have them and that I wouldn't even know I was having them if I had not been so riddled with them in my previous pregnancy. They don't hurt nor do I really feel anything... I just feel like I am doing a crunch and I can physically feel my belly get hard. I never have more than 3-4 an hour and that is at the most. I usually only have 1 or 2 a day. Such a blessing!


Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 28 weeks

Size of baby:  15 inches from head to heel — the length of a butternut squash and weighs almost 2.5 lbs.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I have gained 15 lbs

Maternity Clothes: mostly all maternity... some regular dresses and shirts still (only a few regular now) :)

Gender: It's a BOY!!!

Name: Reid Johnsten Laney
Reid is my maiden name and Johnsten is a nod to Cal's late grandfather John Hozie Turner and his late Uncle Johnny. Also... Johnsten means "God's gracious gift" and I could not say it any better! :)

Movement: I feel him moving all of the time! There are no longer flips, I can feel him pushing and turning and I can almost discern what body part I am feeling.

Sleep: Sleep has changed a bit this month. Reid is sitting on and pushing on my bladder, so I have been getting up and running to the restroom every five seconds. ha! I started taking some unisom to help me sleep through the night, so I can be a good mommy to Jack and Lucy.

What I miss: um... WINE!!! (and being able to pop up off of the couch and bed easily)

Cravings: no cravings really at this point. I have been a little extra hungry between meals, but no craving.

Symptoms: still a few braxton hicks here and there, and sciatic nerve pain comes and goes. I have found it really helpful to soak in an epson salt bath every night. It really helps with the muscle pain.  

 

Best Moment this month: I have really enjoyed feeling Reid moving around where it no longer feels like flutters, it feels like a real person moving around. I can feel his little knees and booty moving around.. so fun! 





clarifications! :)

I have to back up and make several clarifications....
OK, so after I posted the previous post, I got so many emails, calls, texts, messages, etc from people that I didn't even know read this blog! I was humbled, but also a bit embarrased, so I must clarify a few things!
The main reason I wrote that post was to just vent and I have always felt like writing was like therapy for me! I just love to pour my feelings out on paper (or computer screen) LOL. I am so appreciative of all of your kind words! I feel so blessed to have such supportive friends and friends that aren't scared to tell me the truth about how they feel about themselves as well. I feel like every momma in the world has felt like this at one time or another. Even if it is isn't about weight... I am sure that we all feel unatractive and "momish" at one point or another.
I realized something after reflecting on the post and also other's messages to me concerning the post. I don't think that I clarified that I was not talking about being pregnant with Reid as a reason for having more weight on me than normal... I was talking more about the weight that I put on with the twins. I WANT my belly to grown now! Trust me!! LOL I just didn't want to sound like a whiny baby about being pregnant... because that is not at all what I meant!
Also.... my "come to Jesus" moment was when I recieved a letter from a friend that literally took my breath away. She let me know that she was, in fact, that girl that was trapped in the first picture....

The girl in the cute dress with the wine glass that is waiting desperately for this...

(waiting for the husband as well) and then all of a suddent it hit me like a brick right between the eyes... When I look in the eyes of that girl in the top picture, I remember.... I remember a pain so sharp it can't be described with words. It was a pain that I didn't really know how to process. The girl in that top picture was trying to imgine her life never carrying children or even knowing what pregnancy would be like. I was wrapping my brain around what it would be like to adopt and accept the fact that I would not carry my own children. There is really no telling what thoughts were going on in my brain behind that smile in that picture. So... NO, I don't miss that girl every day... I might miss the figure that was a bit better than the one I am sporting now... ha... but I do NOT miss that girl! I am SO proud and happy and humbled to be having another precious life and 2 sweet little stinkers that call me MOMMY! That is what I dreamed of! That is what that girl in that top picture wanted more than anything in the whole world!

 

OK... with that said... I will leave with a few pics of those little blessings/stinkers.

 

1st day of school!

1st boat ride!

The REAL me

This is me... this is the me that I see in my head when I think of myself...

(this pic was taken just months before I got pregnant with J and L)

 ...and then, I look into the mirror, and I see this...

(ok.... i am crying as I type this)

This has been a huge pill for me to swallow. I don't want this post to seem in any way vain or ungrateful, because believe me, I am so very grateful. I just miss that girl in the above picture... A LOT... every single day! I am trying my best to grab a hold of who I am now, and love that person... but it is SO hard. I am exactly what I aways said that I didn't want to be, but at the same time, I AM exactly what I always wanted to be. It is bittersweet. I now have those 2 babies that are so happy to be testing out their baby brother's new crib in the pic above. I am so blessed to have another precious life on the way. I always wanted to be a mother, but I had "rose colored glasses" about how all of that would look.
All of that said... I have MAJOR body image issues that I have GOT to hand over to God. I have no idea why I put on so much weight when I got pg with the twins... maybe it was the bed rest, the artificial hormones, or genetics (surely not from my mom, though). I don't know why, but I straight up... BLEW UP! I always wanted to be that cute energetic, skinny mom. Most of my friends are that mom that I always dreamed of being, and I, for some reason am not! I tried SO hard after I had the twins... but nothing happened. Even breastfeeding didn't do very much. I did lose 65 lbs.. but I still had about 30 that just wouldn't come off. I am glad it didn't now... because Reid was secretly on his way.
I have had so many comments lately about my size, and I am not even talking about people that knew that girl in the top picture... I'm talking strangers and people that I just met. I just have to vent and write some of these comments down... Here are a few things I have heard as of late....

"OH! you are only 26 weeks, I thought you were going to say you were due next month"
"Wow! My daughter in law is just as far as you, and you are twice her size"
"Every time I see you, you are fat!" (a family member)
"OH! I saw pics of you on FB and you used to be TINY!"
"Adair.. now, I don't think you should get any bigger than you are now!" (a family member)
"Adair.... are you SURE this isn't twins too... it sure looks like it!"
"Does your doctor say he is worried... like, are you measuring big?"
"When you are done having babies... no more balloon shape! (insert laughter)"
The list goes ON and ON....

I have been sincerely shocked by the things that people will say! I still want to be pretty, and I want my husband to think I am pretty just like every other woman in America, but it is like people think that because I am pregnant, I have lost all of the woman that is in me. I just want to scream, "I AM STILL ME" I still have feelings and I don't want to hear that you think I am big.

I know all of the excuses and facts..... I am showing early, because my stomach muscles were torn from stem to stern bc of the twins. I had not lost all of my baby weight, etc, etc.... But now, my goal is to just embrace who I am, thank God for what He has allowed my body to do (which is more than I thought it could do), and move on. Yes! I DO have plans to have that muscle repaired and work like mad to get back to the healthy size that I once knew... but now, my goals for doing that MUST be different. I only need to focus on HEALTH... throw the vanity out the window.... but this will be a lifetime goal. God will have to do this through me.

24 weeks

24 weeks pregnant with Reid

25/almost 26 weeks pregnant with the twins

I get chills when I think about where I was at this point in my pregnancy with Jack and Lucy... I started going in and out of the hospital at 23 weeks with the twins, so I do not have a belly picture for those few weeks. I am missing 23-26, and this is the only pic I have of me during that time... I was almost 26 weeks. I have no idea why Cal took a pic of me with that awful food... but this is the only pic I have! ha!

I had my glucose test yesterday and PASSED! yay!

I am actually 25 weeks at this moment while updating, and I just can't stop thanking God for such a smooth pregnancy thus far. We went to Mississippi and the Bahamas and KY lake this month... so it has been a super busy one! I am glad to be back home and here to stay probably until we move next summer. Reid will be here in about 3 and a half months in December, and then I do not see myself travelling with 2 yr old twins and a newborn by myself! ha! But you never know... I am crazy like that! :)

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 24 weeks

Size of baby:  11.81 inches from head to heel — the length of an ear of corn and about 1.32 lbs.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I have gained 15 lbs

Maternity Clothes: mostly all maternity... some regular dresses and shirts still.

Gender: It's a BOY!!!

Name:  Reid Johnsten Laney
Reid is my maiden name and Johnsten is a nod to Cal late grandfather John Hozie Turner and his late Uncle Johnny. Also... Johnsten means "God's gracious gift" and I could not say it any better! :)

Movement: I feel him moving all of the time! It really is a new thing for me... with all of the contractions and with how squished J and L were.. I didn't get to feel them very much. This is so surreal to feel every little move!

Sleep: I'm sleeping pretty good! I am just tired of sleeping on my side... i love my tummy or my back.

What I miss: um... WINE!!!

Cravings: I have been craving more sweets lately! I am never really a sweets craver, but I have been lately!

Symptoms: a little heart burn and some sciatic nerve pain. yuck! I have felt a very few braxton hicks, but wouldn't have recognized them if I had not had so many contractions for so many months before. 

Best Moment this month: Snorkling, laying on the beach and enjoying life. I had a lot of moments on our recent vacation where I had to stop and reflect and just thank God over and over for allowing me the joy of pregnancy. Snorkling in the ocean during the same time in my pregnancy with the twins that I was being hooked up to IVs and monitors was a surreal and humbling feeling! I have nothing but gratitude!

20 weeks! Halfway there!!!

20 weeks pregnant with Reid!

20 weeks pregnant with Jack and Lucy!

So... now I can really tell which pregnancy picture is of me carrying twins vs a singleton! ha!
I still feel bigger than your avg 20 week pregnant person, but I have to remember how stretched my stomach was the 1st time.. and heck, it was just FIVE hot seconds ago that I was pregnant with J and L. ha! 
This pregnancy has been a breeze so far in comparison to my last. Taking care of the twins and feeling the yucky tiredness and other symptoms that go along with being pregnancy in general have not been all that fun, but I have no complaints! I am just so grateful for a healthy pregnancy this far and I am praying for only more health at this half way point. We had Reid's big 20 week scan and as the tech measured each little bone and brain measurements, etc... I just absolutely lost it, crying tears of joy as we saw our healthy baby boy squiggle and wiggle on the screen. Everything measured "perfectly" and we confirmed that he is still in fact a BOY! ha!

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 20 weeks

Size of baby:  1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana and about 10 1/2 ounces

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I have gained 10 lbs

Maternity Clothes: mostly all maternity... some regular dresses and shirts still.

Gender: It's a BOY!!!

Movement: Cal got to feel Reid at 19 weeks- I feel him constantly! It is so different with just one baby! I can feel so much more!!! :) 

Sleep: I'm sleeping pretty good! I am just tired of sleeping on my side... i love my tummy or my back.

What I miss: um... WINE!!!

Cravings: I have been craving more sweets lately! I am never really a sweets craver, but I have been lately!  

Symptoms: no more throwing up at all! I have just been really tired and having a bit of heart burn.  

Best Moment this month: My favorite thing this month was watching Cal get to feel Reid! He didn't get to feel J and L much. I was contracting so much and they were so squished in there, they couldn't move much!